Somebody call Guiness; I think we have a record here.

Aiden pooped on the ceiling.

This entire post will be about this event, so if that's not the sort of thing you'd like to read about, then you might want to browse through the older posts and see if there are any that you missed. Or you can look forward to my next post, which will be a nice one about Natalie's joy at being a big sister.

Ok, now that we've gotten rid of those people, we can continue. So, as I was writing, Aiden POOPED on the CEILING. Mind you, this was not as a result of a game of Spiderbaby (think Spiderpig from the Simpsons Movie). Aiden is too little to appreciate being Spiderbaby -- unlike SpiderNatalie, who laughs uncontrollably -- so we haven't tried it. Even if we had tried Spiderbaby, he would have been wearing at least a diaper, and, in keeping with the law of gravity, one would expect that a game of Spiderbaby would result in poop on me, rather than poop on the ceiling. But I'm starting to digress. The point is that Aiden was on this changing table, which sits 32" above the floor, when he managed to poop on our 8' ceiling:














This actually happened about two weeks ago, just a day or two after we brought Aiden home. I had his diaper off in order to change him, and shortly after peeing on me, he had a particularly explosive bowel movement. I hadn't noticed the mess on the ceiling or the wall at the time, because, frankly, it never occurred to me to check whether he had pooped on the ceiling. So it was the next day that I happened to notice a stain on the wall. Investigating the source of this stain caused me to notice another stain on the wall, and the stain on the ceiling. If one drew a line connecting these three dots, it led right back to the changing table.

I think this may be record-worthy because of the distances involved here. First, he got the ceiling. Based on the way I usually place Aiden on the changing table, I measure the distance between the stain on the ceiling and the launch-point at 6'8":

This picture was taken with the camera on the changing table at the approximate launch point. In order to avoid a distorted sense of scale, I set the focal length of the lens to 35mm, which, for a digital SLR camera, is approximately equivalent to the focal length of the human eye.

With the camera set up the same way, I measured the distance to a cluster of stains located between 7'3" and 7'8" away:

Thanks to my lovely assistant who helped hold up the tape measure, albeit with a lot of sighing and eye-rolling.

Finally, the one that I will submit for consideration as the world's record for distance covered by poo propelled unassisted from an infant less than 1 week old: a wall 9'8" away:

Because of the angle, it was too difficult to get a picture of this one with the measuring tape in place, but the stain is located behind the nightlight, which appears near the center of the frame, just to the right of the first round wooden post.

So that's all for now. As you might imagine, we have quite a bit of cleaning up to do, and not just because of this incident.

No. of times Aiden has peed on Daddy: 6
No. of times Aiden has peed on Mommy: 5
No. of times Aiden has peed on the new carpet: 8